Black mesa review Pc#
Black mesa review simulator#

Black mesa review Pc#

But let's take a step back Black Mesa is a fan-made remake of the seminal 90's PC shooter, narrative action game, tentpole, and all-around ball of chunky cuddles Half-Life, made in the Half-Life 2 Source engine. 'Early Access!' Oh, for fuck's sake.Īnd now, I'm roundly miffed to see that the release version of Black Mesa is really fucking polished, which is all anyone should expect, since they've been polishing it for so fucking long, there's a six-inch layer of crystallized Mr Sheen around the thing.

Hey, where are the Xen levels? 'Early Access!' HSSSSSS!! Hey, the enemy soldiers seem a bit too accurate. As a critic, this has been a right pine cone up my perineum back when I first played Black Mesa in those wonderful days before all sense left the Earth, I had tons of shit to critic about, but they kept throwing up the 'Early Access' card like a crucifix to a vampire. Black Mesa was announced fifteen years ago, and had been in Early Access for five I assume they've been waiting until the kitschy retro factor kicks in, since they missed the first chance to strike while the panty was wet.

Black mesa review simulator#

I made a vow to stop reviewing games that are still in Oily Excess, because anything I criticize can get fixed before the final release, and then my review just has to dangle there from the Internet, looking all wrong and stupid, like a decent human being in a Republican-controlled Senate plus, it leads to situations like when I half-assedly reviewed Fortnite while it was still in Twirly Axes, little realizing it would soon become the world's third most popular form of human communication.īut now I have a new problem, because sometimes, games stay in Early Access the whole time they're in the popular zeitgeist, so by the time I review it, no one cares, and have all moved on to John Madden's Felching Simulator 2020. Someday, indie games, you and I are going to have to draw up a little constitution and decide how long is too long to be in Early Fucking Access.